Monthly Archives: January 2012

Seven years on…

It was seven years ago today that my unit began the convoy north from Kuwait into to our base north of Tikrit. It was not a great experience, but if I’m honest with myself I have to admit that I felt a certain sense of adventure over the subsequent three days. Perhaps that was what kept the fear away. (I really don’t remember feeling afraid in Iraq, though now I realize that was because it was buried too deep.) It turned out to be a relatively uneventful trip, at least for my serial in the convoy. One truck in another serial killed a person and wounded two others in a car that tried to get past the convoy, which was what we were trained to do (suicide bombers being a threat). Another serial had an IED go off shortly after it passed an  intersection. For us, it was simply a long, long drive in a completely foreign landscape.

As with most “anniversary” dates, today & the next couple of days are a challenge for me. I wish I could shut off the memory spigot, but that’s not really possible. There have been periods when I’ve not consciously realized that “on this day X happened.” The subconscious mind doesn’t forget, though, so I’ll begin having more intrusive thoughts, be more irritable than usual, feel the anger surge up again, and start isolating myself more often. When I realize what’s happening, I can start managing all the effects, so it’s probably for the best that I keep these periods in my consciousness. Still, I wish, really wish, that I could simply forget it all.

That’s not entirely true, though. Yes, I wish that these memories would stop haunting me, and that the difficult emotions that have become so much a part of them would simply dissipate. I don’t enjoy living with PTSD. Yet, it is who I am, now and most likely for the rest of my life. If I could somehow take a pill and make it all go away, I would have to re-create myself again. Over the past six years (it was also around this time, one year after going into Iraq, that I was diagnosed with PTSD), I’ve had to travel down another long, long road in foreign territory, although this one has been internal. I’ve had to re-collect the pieces of who I was before Iraq, sort those parts that were still “me” from those that were no longer. I’ve had to put those pieces back into something of a functional human being–once something is broken into pieces, it can never be made whole again. The best outcome is building something new out of what’s left. The person I am now is who I am now, not who I wish I was, nor the person I used to be. I can’t erase Iraq from my life, but even if I could exorcise it from my mind & heart, I would still be made up of the pieces that were left.

Another year, then, passes by, and another reminder of a short but intense & painful period in my life. Still, I am here, have a loving & supportive family, work to keep me busy (if uninspired), and a mind and heart with which to ponder deep things. I am not wise, nor believe that I ever will be; and my life speaks to fact that I’m not all that smart. But all of that won’t matter if, after having been a part of that which was so wrong, I can live my life simply being good. That’s enough.

End of January

This week was exam week–midyears and semester finals. The tests are done, the grading is under way, and somewhere over the next two days I get to put together my two second-semester classes. It’s almost as if someone sat down and asked, “how can we come up with a way to stress both students and teachers as much as possible?”

On the other hand, the school year is half-over.

The crazy winter weather continues, as in no winter weather. It’s been raining for nearly twenty hours; as a colleague pointed out today, if it were ten degrees colder we’d be buried. Mild temperatures continue for the next week, which puts us into February. Chances are it’s going to be a mostly snowless winter. Makes one very suspicious about climate change.

Anne & I are going to talk with a writer tomorrow; she’s been working on a book about returning veterans and their families. She interviewed us a few years ago, but has decided to include the issue of PTSD and its long-term effects. Neither Anne nor I have spoken about this with anyone bur ourselves for going on three years, so it’ll be an interesting exercise. Since then, I know Anne’s thought a lot about the secondary effects that my PTSD has had on her and the family. For that matter, I have, too. Recently, I’ve been trying harder to communicate to those around me where I’m at. I feel like I plateaued a little over a year ago; its not getting any worse, though not really any better. I’ve learned to manage the worst effects, so don’t have to struggle to keep the anger, anxiety, hyper-vigilance, etc. under control; however, that’s not the same as being free of it all. The self-care I’ve learned requires that I do certain things, and not do others. Those people who have to live & work around me, have to put up with me, need to have at least some idea of what’s going on so they don’t mistake my behaviors for anything other than what they are. For example, several times a day I really need to be in a quiet place by myself. Keeping all the effects managed takes a lot of energy, physical and emotional; if I don’t have time to relax a little, I become over-tired, more stressed, and less able to manage it all. It’s easy to assume that I’m alienating myself, upset with others, avoiding people, and so on, when in fact I simply need some space.

It’s not easy to talk about these things, of course. Not only is my inner life private, like everyone’s; it also leads to feeling vulnerable, which is a trigger for all sorts of reactions. I really dislike opening up like this. But, it helps others, especially those close to me, understand what’s up. So, I’m chalking it up to just one more of the unpleasant elements of living with PTSD.

January slump

I haven’t been writing much lately, in my blogs, journals, or anything else. About the only writing I’ve been doing is on student papers, school-related e-mails, and a sentence-or-two on Facebook. It’s been a long time since I was in the habit of writing at all, and that was while I was in Iraq. Maybe there’s some subconscious negative-association-thing going on.

I spent the weekend of the 14th in Philadelphia with a wonderful group of young women & men discussing the future of Warrior Writers. This organization hosts workshops & retreats for veterans to explore in writing their military experience. The focus is primarily on those who have served since 9-11, especially those who served in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. The purpose is primarily to add to veterans’ healing by giving them a written voice. A secondary but no less important purpose of Warrior Writers is to let those voices be heard. Pindar (and Desidarius Erasmus) observed that “war is sweet to those who know it not.” Hearing the words of the men & women who know it first hand cannot help but strip away the mask that hides war’s ugliness and horror.

On Saturday we held a release party for the third anthology of Warrior Writers work: After Action Review. Several of the veterans whose works are in the anthology were there and gave readings; it was an amazing and emotional experience–and I seldom resort to superlatives. I was proud to be in the same room as these young folk. Their works speak with more power than those of “professional” writers and poets because theirs come from not only the heart but the soul. And their willingness to share their struggles and pain speaks even more to their commitment to being voices for their still-silent comrades-in-arms. I can promise those who pick up these anthologies that they will be often disturbed but always moved.

This week (that of the 23rd) I haven’t been feeling well. Anne thinks I picked up the bug that is going around school, and she may well be right. But at least some of this is the “crud” that I’ve been carrying around since Iraq. Sweats, chills, whole-body pain, nausea–it’s all there. I had another flare-up in December, but there’s no real pattern so it’s no surprise that it came back so soon. Sometimes I can go a couple of months without symptoms, other times it’s an up-and-down cycle for several months. I’ve not been able to identify any single triggers, though I think stress plays a role, along with air quality and temperature. No doctor in the VA or in civilian world has been able to narrow it down to anything known; it’s just a collection of symptoms that recur again & again. I’ve accepted that it’s an ongoing part of life, but I still don’t like it.

January is in itself a stressor, & not just because of the end of first semester at school. It was seven years ago this Saturday, the 28th, that my unit began the convoy from Kuwait to Summerall. Even when I don’t think about it, the trip and events that followed seem to bubble up from my subconscious, making me feel tense, stressed, anxious. When I bring it all to the conscious level, I can manage it; but doing so takes energy, energy that I would otherwise use in my daily life. In other words, it’s just a crappy time. August is the big one, of course, November being the other anniversary that affects me. Just like with the physical “crud,” I’ve accepted that it’s going to be like this.

Maybe some of the slump has to do with the weather. Hardly any snow this year! It just ain’t natural. Although snow creates many problems, I still love snowstorms. It’s all the “blanketing the earth in whiteness” stuff. Snowstorms always lift my spirits, if only for a day or so. This year, though, it looks like that’s not going to be an option. We’ve only had two wimpy little snowfalls, hardly worth the effort of getting out a shovel. But then, the winter isn’t over. Maybe the weather patterns will shift for February.

And, January is nearly over–a week from now it’ll be February. I’m choosing to believe that it will be a brighter month than this one.